Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.

''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'' The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.''

The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''Thank God I didn't do anything like that.''

He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ''Why?''

''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone."
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Have I ever mentioned that I highly suspect I'm schizophrenic? Well, I do. I highly suspect that. Because everyone's telling me I'm schizophrenic, and I always hear voices in my head. Seriously, don't you? I hear voices in my head, from past memories, or new voices, but still, voices. And I always thought it was normal. See - even Hyeon hears voices in her head. Or maybe its just a phenomenon occuring in single-child families. HAHAH - what crap. That's what Sylvia says, anyway.
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Sylvia and I were talking about love the other day, and she mentioned that she wanted her fiance to propose to her in winter. Like a Korean Drama scene.

And just in case you thought that she's utterly stupid, I'd like to remind you that she's my cousin... But I totally agree with you.
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Tag replies:

Jeannel:

HAHAH, mine looks better. Yupp, I'm more artsy than Zheng Xian ever is. All he does is sailing and homework. Gosh, it was horrible on Monday! Thank god we had the chance to laugh silently. And pass notes. Although some people didn't participate in it. Still. I hope we don't get her again. And no - it has nothing to do with the sirname - nothing at all, I assure you. I was flipping through the papers when I saw the Dumbledore report. Rather upsetting.
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Sam:

Welcome? I can't even remember what I said. Something about being girly, as you are, I presume? Highly interesting. I can't remember since when I was that fascinated. GOSH - Its Manasa's last ELDDS session with us tomorrow - I hell as can't believe it.
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Manasa:

GOD - Its your last ELDDS session. Damnit. We love you, Manasa. I shall personally pass you your letter tomorrow. Personally. I dunno how, but yeah, I hell as will. And darling, I loved the letter. Although it contained a rather unexpected word or two, but still, honey, we love you. The photo was weird, I look as every single bit as alike as the Chinese ghost everyone was calling me - damn. But still.
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Clarence:

I am neither evil, nor mean. I don't look like a lemon. And you're being ridiculous. Hurh. Jokes are funny, and are transmitted world-widely. It just depends on how you go look for them, which is pretty simple.
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Elizabeth:

You cut your hair? I didn't know, I didn't notice, I didn't see! JEEZ! How do you look like now? I'm wondering. But your hair can't be shorter than Clarence's, right? Else you'll be bald.
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Elaine:

Hello dear! Oh, yeah, I'll link you. Hope you have a fun time visiting your folks back there in China! And tell your relatives that Neopets are really cool. Are you an aunt now?
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Johnathan:

Seriously. I have to say - that you are the last person on earth that I'll ever want to be related to. Honest. I can't think of someone much more horrible than you are. Gays are cool, Johnathan. Well, sorry. I know you wanna be thought of as cool, but a criteria is to be gay, and you're unhappy with it. Guess what? Cool people aren't necessarily gay. I think.
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Hyeon:

HAHAH, okay, I'll cancel it out. When I'm not so lazy. Oh yeah, I kinda forgot, you don't go for guys. HAHAH! Ooh, hot topic to gossip about - I hope your juniors do the honour for me! Yeah! I'll bring my baby photos and I'm damned sure I'm gonna laugh at you until you officially sever all ties with me. HAHAH.
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Today, I saw Mr Siow at the canteen, and I was telling him that it was my first ever time seeing him in the canteen. And he seemed rather irate by saying,"Its not my first time in the canteen!" HAHAH, I love irritating Mr Siow. But he was one of the favourites of 2s2. Well, we could practice our debating skills during English classes, why not? Still.

And Mr Siow always has that rather irritating habit of calling me Hitler. Its rather insulting, seeing that I'm not male. But oh - I guess its a pet name. No wait, that sounds so wrong. Its a common ideology. Uh... And then again..

Let's just say "Oh, what's in a name," shall we?
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Physics was rather upsetting. Mrs Low was informing us that she was gonna leave during December, and she was giving us somewhat of a prep talk. Its rather upsetting, seeing that we've always loved her, but we've never really had that much of a chance to bond properly with her. Apparently, she's moving off to Los Angeles, which I am so taken over by. Californian love. GOSH. If I ever ever ever get the chance to study in USA, I'll go over and look up Mrs Low. She gave us her email, anyway.

Well, she said,"If you'll ever come to America, you can email me, and then I'll treat you all to..."
And the class was rather tense, until she said,
"Coke."

HAHAH.

I'll miss her next year. And she informed us that Mr Lim Min Cho was gonna be our Physics teacher. And she couldn't remember any other teacher except for A-Math, and our A-Math teacher next year's Mrs Lucy Tan.

I heard she's splendid. But still. Its rather disconcerting to have A-Math without Mr Choy. Which once again reminds me how much Mrs Low respects Mr Choy, because she stands up for Mr Choy. I guess its mutual.
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Biology was in the Arts Conservatory, and Mrs Yip came in to look in at our heartbeat experiment! And boy - were we touched. 3C3 actually stood up and gave Mrs Yip a standing ovation. I seriously couldn't believe it myself. I was shocked that I was actually doing it, but it was just some natural response, or something.

I guess Mrs Yip knows that we love her too much, because she turned around and gave us a curtsey.

Measuring heartbeat was a pain. I was given an alter-name to protect my true identity, so my current alter-name's Sharon. Why Sharon? I don't know. Quekie just had the spark of a moment.

And what now? Mira's Megan; Amanda Quek's Audrey; Juanita's Jennifer; and Sabrina's Samantha. So everyone's got a name that is assimilar to their original names, but me? Michelle = Sharon? EWW.

Which is why I say that schizophrenia has been taken to a whole new level.

And during the taking of the heartbeats, our teacher was making perfect sure that we had the perfect results. And so it was bad for me to get 73 heartbeats per minute, because I smiled, I laughed and I moved. So it was a failed experiment. Well, duh. I ain't no guinea pig.

Dhashni and I were supposed to stalk Ms Li to the staffroom, but Ms Li conveniently sent me back to the Arts Conservatory to help Mrs Yip, Mrs Lim and Ms Ng keep everything. And I was strangling the wires and all and trying not to drop the tablets, and that part worked, but the wire part was screwed.

And Nad was there too, so it wasn't that odd. And Nad and I followed the teachers into the staffroom! I am utterly fascinated. Honestly. The first ever reason why I would ever want to become a teacher in my current Secondary school is because of the golden ticket entrance into the staffroom. And I've had the honour of entering the staffroom as a student! So I was quite flattered, even though the staffroom isn't a very glamorous place. But it was like, the working place of the entire school's teachers, so it was rather fun!

Nad and I were practically exploring the area. It was so fun! It was like having an adventure, and everyone else was cut out from the world. But it was so fun! I loved every single second of it. Nad and I were climbing the staircase which led to the "roof", but no - it was no roof, it was merely the third floor. But it seemed so fascinating and underground, like some ant burrow of some sort. I was so fascinated, it actually linked up every place that teachers frequently popped out from. It was really an ant's burrow, I'm serious. I am utterly fascinated. It was really an adventure. Yay. A tantalising experience.

Rather fascinating. Okay, now I've gotta find one more motivation to be a teacher at Crescent again - damn. Well, I said I'll do it for the staffroom, but I've got the staffroom wish, so..

I have to win this bet with Sylvia, I don't care. Not to bet whether I'll be a future Crescentian teacher - no, but a bet to see how long I'd be motivated to be a Crescentian teacher with every passing painful day.
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We were supposed to have English today, but Mr Choy gladly took up the responsibility from Mrs Ow in the quietening down of 3C3. Meaning - he took over English, and transformed it into an A-Math class. Well, I was late for A-Math. Seeing that Nad and I had our little 5 minute rendezvous - wait, I wouldn't call it a rendezvous - back in the exciting staffroom.

I am really really fascinated with the staffroom. And did I mention that Nad and I almost bumped into Mr Lee Jian Wei while climbing up the stairs? Well, yes. Proves that these ant burrows are commonly used. Fascinating.

Moving to A-Math class - Mr Choy wasn't teaching when I was away, thank god. He was briefing the scholars on Holiday Homework. So I don't think I missed much. But Nad and I stepped into class, and I half expected to be questioned on missing 25 minutes of his lesson - but Mr Choy was saying,"Michelle, Ms Ng just called to say that she's found the missing datalogger," so - well, I didn't have to interrogate 3C3 to ask who stole that stethoscope. Then Mr Choy started teaching.

I was half paying attention, and half not. I was paying attention when he was teaching, but I was talking to Hyeon and Shihan when we were supposed to do the practice questions. And Mr Choy seemingly didn't hear anything. That is - seemingly. Hyeon and Shihan were talking about how cute I'd look in braces, and I was trying my best to rebut them. Why would I ever look cute in braces?! I'll look like a living nightmare!

Well, we talked about rather differing topics then. It was quite enlightening. That is - until Hyeon and Shihan decided to bully me by telling me that I'm either gonna be a flirt when I grow up, or I mistake some guy's gentlemanly ways as a show of affection, only to be duly heart-broken when I find out - OMG, he doesn't like me!!

I'm not that dumb.

But still. I was trying to dis Shihan by telling her that she would never ever ever be able to get married. And Shihan was diverting the topic by repeating the question that she first asked me - or one of the first, by any case - which was,"If an Asian guy and a European guy was super sweet to you, and they're both cute and they're both nice and smart and funny at the same level, and the only difference is their race, which one would you choose - the European guy or the Asian guy?"

Shihan was dissing me by telling me that "no European guy would ever want you, Michelle," and I wanted to rebut by saying,"Means some Asian guy would want me?" but Song Yang decided to eavesdrop then, and she said,"Don't worry Michelle, you can marry your nephew," and I was like WTF?!

Hello - Song Yang - you said the n-word: Nephew. How can I ever ever ever marry my nephew, that is so disgusting. He is blood-related to me; and his hierarchy is so much more lower. So - NO STINKING WAY.

I was teasing by saying that I can never imagine Cherlyn getting married - which is true. And that was when Mr Choy looked up from his godly tablet and stared at me laughingly, and he was smiling and laughing and I dunno what other element, but I just heard him say,"Michelle, you talk very loudly."

Meaning - although Mr Choy seemingly - the word from above - was not aware of our constant chattering, he actually knew what was going on, and he probably overheard. I'm impressed. How he keeps a straight face hearing it all without bursting out in laughter - oh, I really don't know. Maybe it was this certain special ability in Mr Choy, which was his stern front, which made me feel rather threatened at the beginning of this year.
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During A-Math after lunch, we were going through the FYE paper, and I sat beside Aish, who was constantly chattering about how much she loved Mr Choy for his nice-ness. I chipped in to commend Mr Choy a little. And Mira who was sitting next to Aish was upset, because we kept right on talking.

Mr Lee Tiong Beng was going around, saying that the Sec 4s felt empty after their O Levels, because "A-Maths [was] their passion". So it was sounding a little obsessed and all of that, but I forgive him, because I'd feel a little upset after my math paper, but he was exaggerating far too much.

After A-Math, Mira / Megan had to "pee like crazy", so we had to rush off to the washroom. And Hui Yu bullied me by refusing to close the door and all the other complicated affairs.

To which I might add - Mary's mean. HAHAH. And she'll probably yell at me for calling her Mary. But I wasn't the one who first called her Mary, it was Mdm Lim. And I respect Madam Lim, so I shall call her Mary.
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Chemistry was fascinating. Ms Azlin is such an enticing speaker, that she kept 124 people under control. Under control meaning: Awake, and quiet. Because most of the time when students are awake - they're not quiet. And when they're quiet - they're not awake.

So she was so efficient, she kept 124 people awake. And quiet. She's a great Chemistry teacher! And she was briefing us about SPA, and how we're supposed to do 2 Chemistry reports, which pains me greatly.

Aish sat between Padmini and I, and Padmini sat between Aida and Aish, and Priya sat in front of us - so, we had a heck of a time. Padmini was making stupid jokes like "Sugar Daddy, and Salty Mummy", so I was a little upset that I had to join in the lameness of it all.

Padmini was smsing some guy called Basil. No wait, some guy called Basil smsed Padmini saying, "Hi." So I was laughing about it, and I called this Basil person "a man of a few words". And Priya kept saying that the guy was a Basilisk. And I went on to tell Padmini to sms him back saying,"Hello, are you a herb?"

But I don't think she did.
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Speaking of efficient speakers reminds me of Mrs Rupa, because she was bloody fantastic yesterday. The Elective Literature people were stunned listening to her speak, and I'm very impressed by Mrs Rupa.

Well, Mrs Rupa is an extremely elegant woman, who speaks with pearls of wisdom. She's extremely extremely respected - and definitely well-known in the field of Literature. And I love her, because she's so fantastic. In fact, Mrs Rupa was the first teacher that impressed me when I was in Sec 1, when I first stepped into Crescent.

Mrs Rupa rules. As much as Mrs Yip does.
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Crapped around with Aish, Padmini, Priya, Nikki, Aida, Kiren, Stephanie and someone else I forgot around the foyer, when I saw Ms Shervon walking in holding some little girl's hand, and Ms Shervon had two little plaits tied to her hair, so it was generally a little cute girl kinda appearance. Then Mr Keong somehow emerged out of nowhere - must have been those magical ant burrows - carrying boxes and all, so I was rather amazed.
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I can't believe I have so much Holiday Homework. I mean - I know I'm Sec 4, but this isn't the way to treat animals. Its ABUSE. I shall complain to the SPCA.
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