A guy comes home early one day from work. And he hears weird sounds coming from his bedroom. When he gets to his room, he finds his wife naked on the bed sweating bullets.

''What the hell is going on?'' he says.

''I'm having a heart attack!!''

So he runs down stairs, and picks up the phone to dial 911. But as he is doing this, his four-year-old son, comes running up to him and says, ''Dad, Uncle Tommy is up stairs, hiding in your closet, and he's naked!''

So he slams the phone down, and runs upstairs, to find his own brother in the closet.

The man says, ''What the hell are you doing? My wife is having a heart attack, and you're here running around naked, scaring the kids? You shoud be ashamed of yourself!"
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I realise that I duly forgot to blog about the Clean and Green and the award-giving ceremony of yesterday - and of congratulating the right people who attained various awards and all of it.

Congratulations to Mrs Low Kar Hwee for attaining the best CCA teacher award, and the expression on her face was that of utmost shock, which was very amusing.

So, congratulations to Pan Jing Jing of 3C3 for attaining some unbeknowst math award,
and congratulations to Wang Kaidi of 3C3 for attaining some other math award.

And congratulations, of course, to Xing Qian Qian of 3C3 for attaining the first prize in the Canon photo shoot hereby also getting a camera and a blue iPod nano.

And since Guin is gonna get to red iPod nano - or so she says - and Shihan has the black one, and Juanita / Jennifer - is gonna get the green one - and I own the silver one, we're gonna be the class with the all the Apple colours.

Which would be, utterly fascinating.
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Clean and Green was weird. Weird because - by the time we got up to class to attempt to clean the class, there was a tad of confusion back there, because Mrs Low wanted to give internal class awards - again.

So we clapped and cheered, and got scolded by Mrs Chia when she came up, because we were supposed to clean 4C3, which was her form class. And Mrs Low came up and explained to us that she would account for our slacking to Mrs Chia when Mrs Chia came up again and told us a piece of good news: That we didn't have to go down to clean 4C3, because the class was clean.

Bit of laughs about that news, and Mrs Low pouted and said,"Sorry Mrs Chia, I thought you were going to scold me,"

And so, the award-giving once again. Qian Qian's got 6 points, as well as Jing Jing, and Wang Dan has how little points, and Song Yang had nine points, and Azima has 11 points.

And I call this: The Strike of the Scholars.
Or maybe, The Scholars strike again.

Except that Azima isn't a scholar.

And after the whole affair of the 3C3 award-giving ceremony? There was 5 minutes left to clean the entire area. So we tried to clean as much as we could. And Mr Ho kept popping in to tell us to "not clean the fans" and telling us "Happy Holidays!"

But honestly, the hardest part of Clean and Green was getting the materials to clean the class. Why? Because Amanda Quek dragged me off to collect the materials with her, because Addy wasn't there. And walking there made me laugh, I don't know why. So I was laughing all the way to the mini-forum, and I saw Guin walking up, so I dragged her to go collect the material with us.

Guin was whining and all that and I was laughing and laughing because she was whining horribly. And we were supposed to get black plastic bags, so Quekie pulled the bags off like she was gonna do some magic and uncover something underneath it, and underneath it was another black plastic bag, and so I laughed again. And the thing was Quekie pulled off 3 plastic bags at one go, so Guin and I were trying to open up the bag, but I couldn't find the hole, so Guin and I were laughing again.

Quek was busy fiddling through the pails, deciding how many pails we needed, and she went and asked Mr Keong who was there, and he seemed immensely appalled at me laughing - for some special reason. And he was like,"Why are laughing like that?!" with immense shock, and I was laughing at his expression, so I couldn't answer. I think Guin was laughing because I was laughing, so it was a rather laughable affair.

And anyway, we were told to get a pail for every place we had to clean, and Quekie said to get two pails, because we were gonna clean 4C3 as well, and I was like,"YAY, I wanna clean 4C3!"

Carrying the material back up to 3C3 has gotta be the world's worsest task. Because I had to carry 2 black plastic bags as well as the red pail, and Guin was only carrying 1 black plastic bag, while Amanda Quek was carrying the other red pail - I had the toughest job of carrying the bags and the pail. So I opened the plastic bag and put the bucket in, and Guin was laughing at me, because I looked as though I was carrying a whole bag of rubbish - to clean.

After that, I took the thing out, because I was tired of holding the bag, and Guin was laughing too hard to walk, so yeah. The sacrifice I give for my darling twin... Inexplicable.
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Come to think of it, I haven't mentioned that Mr Ho and Mrs Ow are gonna leave Crescent. I guess I feel pretty upset by that, since Mr Ho's been an extremely fun person to emulate in ELDDS, and a pretty amusing D&T teacher. And Mrs Ow... Lets just say that our paths have crossed more than once, and in opposite directions.

Mrs Ho's tu-tu-kueh and his sexy socks are something that everyone remembers. I would say that he's a very interesting person, but a rather monotone teacher. Although he taught us the Front Elevation - OMG, I still remember - using Su Jean's centre parting as an example, which was amusing, and definitely remembered.

I remember trying hard to screw the nail into the board with the stupid screwdriver, and the top broke off, if I'm not wrong, and the metal part of the screwdriver was stuck in the board. And Mr Ho had to use his entire force to pull the nail out of the board, and he was laughing at me about it.

And Mr Ho had always been the one to meddle with the mikes and all, and I remember distinctly getting rather irritated with Mr Ho because he refused to let any ELDDS member touch the microphone. But its just him being devoted and careful about the mikes and all, because he didn't want to destroy them.

Mr Ho gave a rather short speech, and the first thing he said into the mike was,"1, 2, 3 testing, testing," which made everyone laugh alot. Still, proves that Mr Ho, although he seems serious and all, he has his pack of humour.

Mrs Ow is a very mild lady. Really. If there was a word to express the character that she is, the word has gotta be "mild". Mrs Ow hardly ever flares up with me even though I seriously don't pay attention in English class. Even though she really should.

And Mrs Ow was also my History teacher last year in Sec 2. I listened in History, because I liked the subject - I am ironically not taking History this year, and its not because of Mrs Ow - but I only paid attention when Mrs Ow was teaching the content part, and not the purpose statement and the format of each and every part of how to answer the questions.

Still. Mrs Ow made me pass History overall, with a B4. But I was more interested in Literature, and my Geography was an A2, so I took Literature and Geography instead.

Sec 3 was a bit of a shock when I found out that my Sec 2 History teacher was gonna be my English teacher, and I was a little... Apprehensive... About the arrangement. Mainly because while Mrs Ow could teach History rather well, I assumed that her command of the English language was immensely powerful, and she could accept rather creative expressions well.

But after the first essay - which I distinctly remember scoring 21/30 for, even though my storyline was crap, I decided that I merely had to write an essay with good expressions and every single good piece of vocabulary in my dictionary to score a perfect A1. And so I did, but the grade still remained as 21/30. And so maybe I tried to improve my storyline a little but it constantly remained at 21/30, without changing whatsoever. And so I gave up trying to change, and wrote everything based on personal experience and imagination - meaning - from the heart. But of course, the last writing practice we had wasn't marked, although Mrs Ow did mention that she would have a look through everything. I still doubt so.

And so now? I don't really know what methods to write as. But I guess I'll write at the 21/30 standard.
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Retirement.

I guess I've never really thought about any of my past or present teachers retiring. I swear I'll come back to Crescent to see Mr Siow off - if he ever ever ever ever ever retires. And I think I'll be damned upset if Mr Siow ever goes off, because - well, he's Mr Siow. The guy with whom I debate with every single English class. The guy who calls me Hitler. The guy who doesn't really flare up, and repeats anecdotes about a million times, and me having to constantly remind him that he'd told us the story before.
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People were raving mad yesterday in ELDDS, because they had a little argument over which song was better, "Beautiful Girls" by Sean Kingston, or "Don't Matter" by Akon.

And - of course - I chose Akon. Even though he raped a 14-year-old girl, and threw a 15-year-old boy down the stage, he's still the better singer.

At least his tunes aren't that catchy.
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