Men's Ads

When the boot is on
The other foot it is no easier
Looking in the Men’s Ads
You’ll find them even sleazier
Finding men in the Personals
Is a minefield to be truthful
But here are a few pointers,
Which may be thought useful
Chose a man Well Educated
And knowledgeable too
You will spend a boring evening
As he patronizes you
He may modestly claim
To be only average looking
Meaning that from his ears
And nose there is hair sprouting
If he says he is a sensitive man
Means he cries to readily
And if he is very sensitive
Means he is gay, definitely
If he likes to cuddle means
He’s insecure and very scary
Huggable means he’s overweight
And also rather hairy
If he claims he is good looking
He is arrogant rather
And if he says he’s mature
Means he’s older than your father
A “Free Spirit” will perform
With a variety of subjects
And “Friendship first” is fine
As long as it ends with sex
If he claims he has an athletic bent
And is fit, physically
Then he certainly watches
Too much sport on telly
And if he says he’s forty-ish
He’s probably fifty-three
And if you’re only twenty-five
You’re far too old you see
And if perhaps he claims to be
A very Open-minded lover
Means he’ll have sex
With your sister and your mother

Copyright © Paul Curtis. All Rights Reserved

Poetry.
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Tag replies:



Michelle Quek:


QUEK I MISS YOU!! We have to go to SSC to bowl again! I went yesterday, and I didn't see anyone. No Daniel, no Catherine, not even Terence Tan! So the youth bowlers have got to go to bowl and bring life back to the bowling alley, okay! And Michelle Quek is nice, okay! Nice nice nice nice nice person. Now you can go call me nice. :)
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Elizabeth:

I will never ever ever cheat - I don't cheat, hah. When am I going back to Mr Tan's? I don't know. Is there a session this Sunday? I'm not stressed, I'm so happy. That story rocks, Michellina's gonna say,"Woah, Michelle, thank god you put this story up. I love you so much. And you'll continue to be my idol until the day I die! Yes, Michelle, you possess a special place in my heart, and I can even say, you possess me! My love for you, my dear, is deeper than the deepest oceans, and higher than the highest skies! You are my love, my one and only, and yes, I find you utterly fantastic. Love, Michellina." Cool! 20/30 is fine, I guess. I think your school's standard of English is much higher than mine, because in my class, 20/30 is a good grade, but its not the grade of an essay that everyone will read. A little weird. Sauerkraut is pickled white cabbage, and its very salty. Yupp. YEAH, German sausages aren't healthy. But doesn't matter. Its German, that's the more important bit.
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Sam:

Okay. "Touch buttons" is... Let's just say its a private joke amongst my Sec 2 class and our beloved Math teacher. And let's just leave it at that. I fear I would die of over-laughing. And thanks, my dear! I'll sms you my new number - you don't expect me to put it up on the internet and allow any idiot to gain access to my privacy, do you? Precisely. But you've to remind me to sms you. My old number still works, just that if you send an sms to my old number, my new phone recieves it, and replies it with my new number. So yeah. I said that you were subtle?! YOU!? Oh, that's crappy. I never did. And if I did, I never remembered. Forget it, subtle is not a word to describe you at all. Subtle is a word to describe people of a higher status, so don't worry, you're not qualified. =D And I didn't know you frequented my blog so often, woah. I'm so touched. =D I like dissing you. Pity I won't be able to dis you as often next year, huh. I'll be banned from ELDDS, and all. :(
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Aricia:

Darling, you weren't mean! Why are you mean, I don't understand. It was sweet of you, really. Not to mention you also wrote that card thing for me, which I shall snap a picture of it and port it on my blog someday. Maybe today. Yes, yes, yes, I owe you one. I wanted to get you something when I walked around yesterday, but I couldn't. I'll get you a bear, okay!
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Rachael:

Perfect URL, huh. Why don't you put down www.ms-undecided.blogspot.com? Its better. Hurh, bugging me, huh. I totally agree. But hey - you people are gonna be seniors next year, so you better get some discipline. And get serious about ELDDS. We've always faced this problem of discipline, why? Because the seniors are not that disciplined and the juniors are not disciplined at all! I'm not asking you people to take control of your juniors, but to get them interested and excited about ELDDS. Passion is damn important. Talk more and interact with them, okay! I don't care, you've to do it, since I'll be banned from ELDDS next year anyway.
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Hyeon:

I think we're very socially-interactive people. Yeah, we are. I'm a little disturbed and worried. But I heard that the new one can't be that bad, so... I dunno. Its really the "one man's meat is another's poison" theorem, isn't it? Oh, I didn't tell you my new number? Oh, I dunno.
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Xiner:

Yes, we have got to mix up chemicals again! Its so fun! But the bad thing is that I can't remember what I added, so we can't get the scholars to figure out what we produced, which is sad. I think I'll make notes next time. Then we could probably create some exotic product. And Mrs Leow will be very proud of us. Hahah.
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Theo:

Yes, we both had different experiences on the same thing, Theo. And please stop talking about that, I'm serious. I'm gonna ignore you the next time you start on the subject.
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Juanita:

Yes, I have this very strong feeling that we were both twins in our last lives. Don't you think so? Wait, of course you think so. We're twins afterall. Heroes is a fantastic series, I never knew. I like Hiro, he's funny. But then again, I've only watched the first ever episode. I think the cheerleader's scary. And the painter being able to predict the future through his paintings thing is a rip-off. Funny how our powers are so limited, yet so wonderful, huh.
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Padma:

Well, hello dear! I seriously love Paso Doble its the best and the hottest dance on the floor ever! The thing is, there are alot of dances which don't have substance in them, mainly because its damn difficult to be able to do a good dance for Paso Doble. I wanna learn! GERMANY RULES. Woah. I didn't know we had so much in common too! Cool.
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Johnathan:

I hate you. I can't believe you actually threatened to blackmail me. For goodness sake. Find something to blackmail me, Johnathan, and you can do so. Bloody idiot. Nah, we won't get happy happy high high. Not with you, at least. Hahah! I bet I really hurt your feelings this time round. I rule! Go Michelle, go Michelle! Yes, yes, I called you. And you didn't return my call! So you've to call me now. Hah.
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Jerene:

Hahah, don't worry darling, I'm touched enough that you actually had the time to go online and wish me stuff like that! Yes, I am. Good luck for O Levels, okay! I'll give you my silent support!
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Tinaes:

Updated much. Hahah! And congrats, your exams are over and done with! I have this very premonition that I'm going to go to your school, Tinaes. Seriously.
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Michellina:

Aww, honey. I'm so upset - you actually said something like that?! :( You know its such a lie. You're my best enemy again. :(
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Jertaime:

Mine was horrible, darling, I'm gonna get retained. I can't believe what happened throughout all these years. :( Hahah! I think if my juniors read this, they'll be damn pissed off, and then they'll laugh because they know it won't ever come true. HAHAH.
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Lydia:

I'm not emo! Hmprf. :( I rule I'm cool. Yeah. HAHAH!
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