Initially, I couldn't find or remember any funny jokes that will seem funny when they're read, not read OUT. So I decided to pull some stupid funny event from my memory and try to type it out, even though my memory is horrible failing, and I might have to create some funny parts to fit into the context, or some missing words and all.

And that was when I remembered "If You Know What I Mean", also known as Crescent ELDDS's favourite game. For both the right and wrong reasons. But that's another story altogether.

To explain the rules of "If You Know What I Mean" is one of the easiest things to ever do. Basically, in "If You Know What I Mean", every single thing that is said, had got to end with "If You Know What I Mean". Everything. Like, if you say "I'm having fun.", its gotta end with "If You Know What I Mean", so you end up saying, "I'm having fun... If You Know What I Mean," and so the meaning of "I'm having fun." often gets distorted, but it doesn't matter, since its funny too.

Anyway, I give you, the second funniest ELDDS "If You Know What I Mean" game that we'd ever had. The first is, something I remember, but vaguely, since I didn't act in the first one - and anyway, this one was done this year - meaning, recently - and the top of the list one was done last year, so I shall try to remember the entire game last year - at least I remember big parts of it - and go from then on.

Have fun laughing. And, uh, thinking things. About life, of course, its more of a motivational talk than anything else.

And come to think of it, I can remember the conversation of Number One, and I think its loads funnier than Number Two, and I need to laugh today. So - Number One, here it goes. Anyone remembers Number Two?
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"Hello, is this the Butchers? If You Know What I Mean?"
"Welcome to the Butchers, If You Know What I Mean."
"I'd like to buy some sausages, If You Know What I Mean."
"We have a wide range of sausages, If You Know What I Mean."
"I'd like to buy a long, soft and juicy sausage, If You Know What I Mean."
"You want to buy long, soft and juicy sausages madam? If You Know What I Mean?"
"I think one would do, If You Know What I Mean. Two seems a little overated, If You Know What I Mean."
"But there's more flavour and variety in two, If You Know What I Mean."
"One would do the job, If You Know What I Mean."
"Very well, madam, here's the number to pick up your sausage, If You Know What I Mean."

I am very sure I invented some parts. Althought which parts, I don't know But still. If its unfunny and normal to you, well, its alright. If its funny, well then, good luck to you! If You Know What I Mean.
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I don't like, don't like, don't like Amy Winehouse. So while watching Joost, I came across her video "You Know I'm No Good", and GOSH, I seriously don't like her now. Well okay, I do know for a fact that you can very well skip her video and all, but being nice and forgiving, I decided to give her a chance to try and guess what? She ruined it.

Initially, it was "not prefered", but now, its "dislike". Watching another video of hers could make me change it to "hate", so please - keep the Winehouse away.

And Amy - I know that you're no good. Doesn't make any little difference.
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Tag replies and more Joost later. Joost is definitely replacing "Traditional Television". And because most people still aren't really sure of what Joost is, I shall Wikipedia it for you, and put it up here, so you can very well get green eyes - green for envy, I remember my Primary School work - and scream out loud, just as I dearly hope Shihan did. HAHAH, evil Michelle.

So, here goes:

"Joost (IPA pronunciation: [dʒuːst] "jew-st") is a system for distributing TV shows and other forms of video over the Web using peer-to-peer TV technology, created by Niklas Zennström and Janus Friis (founders of Skype and Kazaa)."

"The program is based on P2PTV technology and is expected to deliver (relaying) near-TV resolution images. It turns a PC into an instant on-demand TV without any need for additional set top box. News updates, discussion forums, show ratings, and multi-user chat sessions (often linked to the active stream/channel) are made possible through the use of semi-transparent widget overlays."

LALA. So I can watch millions of MTVs and shows - like Happy Tree Friends, although for what reason they're called "Happy Tree Friends", I don't know, because they're neither happy, nor are they friends, but still.

Joost.

I'm not so sure if it offers porn yet, mainly because I've never searched for that category. But if it did, I presume that it will have alot of downloads.

So maybe it does. And if it does, I know someone who will gladly download it, and watch Joost everyday.
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Tag replies:

Joshua:

Concentration. Yes, I've heard that percussionists tend to be able to concentrate more than other people, I presume its correct? I'm still thinking about whether or not I should go for Musical Evening. Although, if I remember correctly, today's the last ticket sales, so, I'm still wondering. And wondering. HAHAH, that's my junior. But I'm sure it was a joke, so, its alright. HAHAH, no, she didn't want VSELDDS guys to be there, she wanted ALL VS guys to be there, and you happen to happily fall into that category. HAHAH!
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Sam:

AWW, sad. I thought you liked Rodney, dear. Still. Its not too late! You did say that he was "cute" in the taxi, you know. Remember - Stephanie and Aleena were moaning about not seeing many cute guys, and you said that "There was one in the AV room," and you nodded. Oh, it was you. HAHAH! I thought it was Azalea! HAHAH, yeah, I didn't sit beside you. How nice was it?! You were focusing all your attention on Ayesha's tablet and having spasms and making weird noises! HAHAH, I love manipulating information.
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Jeannel:

HAHAH, she taught us instead. Yeah, that Dominic Chua person was quite funny. HAHAH, yes, Samuel will turn red, and Zheng Xian... He's left for the better part of our imagination. Pity he wasn't there on Monday, I would have loved to see his expression. Remember, Samuel as a girl?! HAHAH. Samuel with long hair. HAHAH! Female version of Samuel. HAHAH!
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Azalea:

Well, my heart wasn't broken, hurh! AND WHATTHEHELL, RYAN GOH'S GOING OUT WITH AYESHA. WHATTHEHELL. This... Indescribable feeling. SHIT. Azalea, HOW?! There's nobody there. :(
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Juanita:

HAHAH, maybe times have changed since our Primary school days. Funny, huh. Apparently, it won some compeitition. Maybe the title was "A Dream" or something stupid like that that they give to Primary 1s. I'll put up a paragraph from another later. Remember me asking you about the Ballet Shoes, thing? Yeah, that essay.
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Clarence:

Your five bucks has an expiry date, okay! Never forget. And this bet is one thing that I wish would expire soon. AS IN - so that I don't have to be under any bet and stuff. WAIT, I don't mean that. Stop laughing if you're laughing.
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Harriet:

HAHAH, I have no idea. Leave it to imagination. And hey - I wouldn't know, you left Primary school last year, I left it three years ago. Is that what they all teach you in Primary school? Interesting technique to use, really. HAHAH. See, now in Secondary school, you think it stupid. Ah, the youth that has fallen away.
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Ayesha's going out with Ryan Goh.

Ayesha, fellow ELDDS dancer from 3C1, is going out with Ryan Goh, guitarist from the VS alumni band.

And apparently, I've been hearing that he's got a pretty hotsome girlfriend. And he's going out with Ayesha. So I'm a little confused right now. And I'm totally rankled. Not because he's going out with Ayesha and I have a little crush on him, but because he's already got a girlfriend, and a pretty hotsome one at that.

Azalea's getting some cure for her broken heart, and Joyce and Varuni need some form of cure, somehow.

And I'm the sane one.
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I think I know what Shihan means by the fact that Gwen Stefani was crying horribly and that Shihan felt very upset by that in Gwen Stefani's video "4 in the morning". And I think I know what she means, briefly. Albeit the fact that I had to re-watch her video millions of times to understand and all, but yes. I'm starting to find Gwen Stefani good. Her fashion sense is quite fresh, although its all gold and glittery and all. But her eyes are captivating, mainly because she has fake eyelashes, but its pretty much alright. It makes her eyes look so incredible.

50 cent. I realise that I don't really like his songs too much. And anyway, he's the world's third richest rapper, so he doesn't need my support. Incredible, huh. He's the third richest rapper, even know he's 50 cent. I wonder what the fourth is. And Chamillionaire should be the first, HAHAH, for obvious reasons.

PUSSYCAT DOLLS, PUSSYCAT DOLLS, PUSSYCAT DOLLS.
I am so so so jealous that the Search for the Next Doll people get to go to the PCD Headquarters. THEHELL! And I get to watch the hotts perform right here on my tablet. HURH. Search for the Next Doll, tonight at 10 on Channel 5. Watch it, Michelle, don't forget!

I hope Melissa S wins it, although I don't think she did. Melissa S is so pretty. And yes, Melissa S didn't win it, Asia did. I'm sorry, but I'm serious. I don't like Asia, and Melissa S was fourth, while Chelsea was third, and Melissa R was second. Hello?! Can't you people see that Melissa S is better than Chelsea? Although I liked Melissa S and Chelsea, but I only liked Chelsea because she had improved greatly and her spirit was quite strong, although I've only watched the first episode. But still. Melissa S and Chelsea are enemies, from what I've read. Sad, really. Two of my favourite contestants neck-to-neck with each other.

And I don't really like Asia and Melissa R, although they've got their vocals hit in on straight. But if I had to choose between Melissa R or Asia, I'd choose Asia. And if I'd had to choose between Asia and Melissa S, I'd choose Melissa S.

Pity it doesn't show. Nevermind, I'll start watching Asia, and start trying to find her nice. And hopefully I can do it.
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And yes, here's a little excerpt for me to pick fun on. I'll just highlight the funny bits.

"I ran down the hallway and skidded to a half at the staircase. I picked up the cushion and powdered its bottom. I straddled on the banister and slid down. I stopped neatly just at the big knob at the end of the banister and hopped off. "

Fascinating. Somehow reminds me of a time when I slid down bannisters and there was no big knob at the end, so I slipped off the entire bannister itself and sprained my ankle. I don't think this paragraph is as funny as the others, although it does bring back memories of me sliding down the bannisters together with Veronika, though. And in the end, our pants were black.
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And something for me, and anyone who's interested to laugh about:

"I changed into my ballet shoes with blocked toes. "

Blocked toes. Its toe pads, darling. HAHAH. Kinda makes me think of blocked nose, but nah, it doesn't link.
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And oh, I like this.

"“Glissade! Entroisiene! Plies! En cinquime! En seconde! Rond de jambe!” she went. "

Utterly French, but sorry, I'm pro-German.
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" I set a huge stew pot of water to boil while I went out to the nearby woods. I picked up my box of chalk, whistled for Lucky and left, leaving Felicity, my lap pet cat curled up contentedly on the hearth rug by the fire. The fire crackled pleasantly.

I picked the blackberries that were growing just about everywhere. I filled two baskets and tied them on Lucky’s back. Then I found some wild flowers and some mushrooms."

I don't deny, that initially when I read it, I was stunned, and shocked stupid. And then I thought to myself that this girl had obviously no sense of direction. "I picked the blackberries" in the "nearby woods"?! HELLO - this is Singapore! We don't live in jungles here, we live in a big city!

And then, I thought that I shouldn't be too narrow-minded. Okay, so maybe this little Singaporean was writing about her setting in a little English village, or something.
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More snorting was done when I read this:

"In the morning, I hitched Pretty Star to the pony trap and set off for town."

Highly imaginative. "Pretty Star". I read about that in an Enid Blyton book before. Or maybe I watched it in "My Little Ponies" when I was five.
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And - oh, oh, oh - there seems to be a secret in the ballet shoe. And guess who found it? Lucky my good puppy! Oh, yes, I love Lucky to bits. Good job, Lucky, good job!

"At this moment, Lucky bounded down the stairs three steps at a time. In her mouth was my precious ballet shoe from Mother. I moaned. Granny removed the shoe from Lucky’s mouth. It was chewed. “Hey!’’ exclaimed Granny suddenly. “I do believe there is a hidden seam! The sole is hollow and the inner heel feels bumpy. Not only that, the fabric of the shoe peels!’’ I whipped around excitedly. I turned so fast that I cricked my neck. “What?’’ Aunt Mimi and I exclaimed in unison. We carefully took the shoe to pieces. Sure enough, Granny was right. I hugged the whimpering Lucky, whose tail was between her legs. She licked me happily sure she had been forgiven .She had done me a good turn after all! Our finds yielded a handwritten letter from Mother, a small locket, a key and a map."

So my deceased mother left me something magical in my ballet shoe. At this point of time, I'd like to add that the sole of a ballet shoe being hollow is nothing. Some ballerinas rip off their inner soles to dance better. And the fabric of the shoe peeling means that the shoe's either old, handmade, or cheap. Or fake, even. So yes, inside the ballet shoe lies a letter, a small locket, a key, and a map. Remind me to hide my real will in Russell next time. I'll dissect the Russell's seams, hide a will, a letter, a locket, a small key, a map, and maybe a chocolate bar, since Russell's bigger than a ballet shoe. And when I'm dead, my child can let Russell get bitten by a German Shepherd, and you people reading this and knowing what Russell contains can tell my kids: Oh, there's stuff inside, its a soft and fake pinata that doesn't work.
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And look,

"Aunt Mimi called up a travel agency. The agent said that there was a free for all trip to America that included a rental car, a hotel for a month and meals provided package."

Who said that there's no free lunch in the world? There was a free for all trip to America that included a car and a hotel for a month and meals, you know. Free for all.
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I'm very highly intrigued by this paragraph.

"Granny went home to pack and Aunt Mimi rushed around frantically packing and telephoning people. Lucky could come with us as she also had a passport and had been micro-chipped. I took out a new suit case for Lucky and packed dog food, rugs, her favorite blanket, her food bowl, water bowl, her passport, a few chew toys, a spare collar, a leash, and toys for her to play with. I embrioded her name on his suit case and prepared her traveling carrier. "

Firstly, I didn't know that there was a word called "telephoning", but since Windows Word didn't have that green or red underlining squiggly line underneath it, its perfectly okay. So, remember. "Telephoning" isn't Singlish. Its a universal English word that fits the Singlish context.

Secondly, who's the he in the paragraph? Look - it reads: embrioded her name on his suit case. So, who's the he? And "embroidered" is spelt wrongly but I guess we all know that.
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I thought the conclusion was so abrupt, but it kinda did say everything.

"Upon our return, Belle and I opened our lockets and discovered a small ring and many unset jewels secreted in it. Everyone gaped in surprise. No wonder! It was our family treasure! Belle and I instantly understood Mother’s intention. I carefully removed a letter written in Mother’s hand. It however was torn in half. As if on cue, Belle peered into her own locket and found a similar half of the letter. With care, we pieced the letter together and read it aloud it ran thus: Dear Belle and Annabelle, at long last you have been reunited. The jewels in your lockets are what are left of our family treasure. Take good care of it. Here Mother’s hand writing looked shaky and there was a dark red blood stain. The letter was unfinished. Many years later, Belle and I turned out to be famous ballerinas just like Mother. We had had continued her legacy. "

Isn't it horribly abrupt? I'm so disappointed. But at least things did come to an end, which left me nodding at the end.
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And those were just excerpts of the essay. The full essay was 3012 words long.

Call me biased and all that, but I really don't think that any Primary school student could have thought of such a plot by herself, and wrote 3012 words on it. I suspect that its a total rip-off from a book that this girl read, and she wrote a summary of 3012 words. But really. I would commend her story, simply because she didn't think of the plot and all. It had its good bits, but I'm rather disappointed that she couldn't think of something better to write.

And then again, maybe I'm so biased, and that she really did think of the plot of the story. I shall try to summarise her story. But really really really, I think its a rip-off. I don't know why I'm so biased, but I really really feel that she didn't think of the story on her own. And if it wasn't a rip-off, and that she really did think of it, I duly apologise to her. She's a brilliant writer. Hopefully, my suspicions of it being a rip-off is totally wrong, because I liked the plot.

Summary:
So basically, Annabelle is a born ballerina, from her mother, and the only memories left of her mother was a ballet shoe. Her current adoptive mother, Aunt Mimi, is kind and understanding. Her mother had passed away due to cancer, and the dad died in a fire that "killed Dad and scarred and hurt" the mother. The character of Mademoiselle Stacey just proves that Annabelle's a rich adopted child. Aunt Mimi finds out the address of Annabelle's Granny while Annabelle had her little "plucking berries" story, and they go to find her, in hopes of finding Annabelle's twin sister There, Lucky bit the shoe, and they found the treasures and everything. They go on a wild goose chase to America, where they find that her sister, Belle, is in Singapore. In Singapore, they manage to locate her sister, and they find that Belle's adoptive parent was Aunt Mimi's childhood friend. And so, the rest is history.

See what I mean? I liked the plot, I really did. It'll be a total shame if it was a rip-off.
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And, what the hell, my parents are going to be out tonight on some Deepavali Dinner and Dance thing at SSC, so I'll be alone.

Hell, at least I have E-Math work to complete.

And my Joost is always here for me.
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