I am cranky today, and it doesn't help for many people to tell me, "Michelle, you're pretty cranky today,". It also doesn't help when I can't do a proper split without chopping off my limbs first. It also doesn't help if I get stalked by the same black cat which stalked me yesterday.

YES, I'm cranky.
Like a little old granny who hobbles up and down the stairs, complaining about her cat called Thomas who eats her salmon and spits out the bones on her weedy garden.

Okay, I dunno where the hell I got that from, and I'm very sure I haven't been thinking of old grannies who have cats called Thomas, and spits bones on her weedy garden. But what the heck. You know what I mean. I feel like the way a turtle does when it eats carrots. I feel cranky. Exactly.

Okay, I don't exactly know why turtles feel cranky when they eat carrots. Lets put it this way. I don't even frinking know how they feel when they eat carrots. I'm just assuming that they feel cranky. Because yes - I'm pretty frinking cranky now.
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And if you didn't notice - I changed my vocabulary of profanities. Yes, that means that I no longer say illegal and morally wrong things like "freak" or "shit" or "crap" or "screw".

Note that the f-word is also on the list, but since I don't feel like it, I'm not going to say it. Oh, and by the way, when I say "f-word", I don't mean "frog" or "fry". Click on the hyperlink if you don't know what I mean.

Anyway, I'm going to say "frink" whenever I want to insert a rude word in my conversation. Yes, frink this, frink that.

And while we're at this rude words thing, hey. I found a video pertaining to the topic. Of course, it isn't under-aged friendly. Not because my blog is not under-aged friendly, but because well, we're on this whole topic of a rude word scheme.

Watch it if you want to know what I mean. And have fun!

It goes on for 21 times.


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130.

OHMYGOD, stop frinking asking me what the hell 130 is. I mean - seriously.

Hyeon thinks I know what 130 is, Vanessa thinks I know what 130 is, Nad thinks I know what 130 is, Lava thinks I know what 130 is, Felicia thinks I know what 130 is, and let's put it this way:

Everyone who's asked me, "Michelle, what is 130?" all kinda suspect that I know what 130 is.

Why? Because Mr M, who introduced 130 to the whole school, just so happens to be the teacher-in-charge of ELDDS, and I'm being questioned on whether or not ELDDS is part of this 130 scheme. And it really doesn't help if I'm in a cranky mood, and everyone's asking me the same question. I'm pretty sure the other ELDDS members are also being questioned on what 130 is, and my dear ELDDS members - I feel your pain.

Lava thinks ELDDS is up to this scheme all about the 130 and create a big fuss in our usually peaceful society, and get everyone hooked on this suspense, so they'll think its a big deal even though its not. Lava caught a loophole in my speech during lunch, when I said that I was "excited about this 130 thing", and Lava immediately zoomed down on my error, and asked me, "You're only excited? You're not even curious?"

This is why I tell you - I can so imagine Lava speaking in Parliament, fighting for women rights or something. Yes - that strength in character. Lava: you've got it in you.

Hyeon seriously suspects me of knowing what 130 is, because I keep harping about it. True, Hyeon, true. True in the sense that if I didn't know what it was, I wouldn't keep on harping about it.

Possibly. But as I said - I really have no idea what 130 is, except that its coming, and its rocks my socks. Or so, Mr M claims.

But hey - let's put it this way. If I really did know what 130 is, I won't tell you people, unlike what I promised you. I mean, really. If Mr M wanted it to be kept a suspense before letting out the big secret, there's no reason for me to suddenly spill the beans. I'll be ruining the effect intended. So yes, dearies. Suspect me all you want, for I really can't convince you that I don't know anything about 130, unless stated in the above.

And so, we shall wait.

130.
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"Milo looked around and, for the first time, noticed dozens of them – sitting on the car, standing in the road, and lying all over the trees and bushes. They were very difficult to see, because whatever they happened to be sitting on or near was exactly the colour they happened to be. Each one looked very much like the other (except for the colour, of course) and some looked even more like each other than they did like themselves.

"I’m very pleased to meet you,” said Milo, not sure whether or not he was pleased at all. “I think I’m lost. Can you help me please?”

"Don’t say ‘think’,” said one sitting on his shoe, for the one on his shoulder had fallen asleep. “It’s against the law.” And he yawned and fell off to sleep, too."
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I like Kylie Minogue's new song: WOW. I mean - it is what the title says it is. I mean - take a look at that woman. GOSH. How many people get back up on stage after battleing breast cancer? Kylie Minogue is such an inspiration. Like, an inspirational inspiration. She's just it, baby.



The way you walk,
The rhythm when you're dancing,
Every inch of you smells of desire.

You got it, you're wow wow wow wow!
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Oh, wait. I forgot to underline the very important issue and the crux of today. The epitome, as Padmini will put it.

COMMON TESTS (1) ARE OVER.

Yeah, the important underlying issue. I mean - seriously. That's what's kept me frinking studying until 11 something and crying my eyeballs out trying to figure out the frinking answers and memorise stuff, like the frinking Hydrological cycle, which has never come out no matter how many frinking times I studied the frinking thing again and again and again.

Oh - did I mention? I studied the frinking thing last year, during Common Tests (2). It never did come out. I studied it again for Final Years. OH, did it come out? NO. I studied it again for this Common Test. Did it come out? No again! So see - moral of the story: Perserverance does not pay off. Procrastinate today, and benefit tomorrow. Or something along the lines of that.

Anyway, I'm expecting a minimum of 54 points for my LIR5 this time round. Yes, 54, I'm not joking. I don't joke about serious stuff like 54 points for LIR5.
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Shihan thinks I'm a comedian.

Okay, that's highly complimentary. I mean - really. Comedians are frinking brilliant and smart and funny people. And the irony of it all - they are not funny people. They are serious people, who have a cynical view of life, and so they criticise according to their point of view, and that - hey, makes sense. Perfect sense.

So yes, Shihan. I'm not smart enough to be a comedian. Gosh, I really do respect those people. They're just brilliant and intelligent. I told Shihan that, and she still maintained her stand, and said that I'm a total comedian, like a "clown".

Shihan - I am not a clown. I'm not funny. I don't have a big red nose, and I don't wear white and scary make-up, and draw green cat eyes on my face. If I ever do that, I would either be a professional clown, or I'll be at a Halloween party, or it would be when I've lost a bet. Or when I'm drunk, and some idiot kindly offered to do that make-over session for me.

Shihan mentioned that clowns lead sad lives, and so do comedians. I dunno about you, but my heart tends to sink a little when I think about that. As in, physically. I feel their pain, maybe?

Oh, did I mention? One of my future ambitions is to be a clown. Like, a professional circus clown. I said that during one of Mr Tan's sessions once, and Clarence laughed at me. Michellina stared at me like I was some new species of homo sapiens - or something else - and Elizabeth and Clara was laughing as well.

Clarence said that I was already a clown for saying that. But hey - I'm serious. Clarence laughs at alot of things I believe firmly in and am serious about. Like me being a starfish. Gosh, I really want to be a starfish. Clarence just doesn't understand my theories. Not that I've exactly told him. Have I told you, Clarence? I don't think so. Else you wouldn't have ostracised my views, you would have frinking agreed with me.
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I am feeling so cranky and irritated. I should stop blogging, and go stick my head in the oven instead.

Goodnight.
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