It has hardly been a week, and I have already begun on my second post this week.

You see, Simon. I am troubled. I seem to be wrecked by thoughts unknown, and it is difficult for me to speak of my concerns.

But alas, I have made a decision. Bryan would call me a chicken, although Natalie might understand, and I would probably be branded a loser by just about everyone, but it is a choice I have to make, a terrible choice, but a choice, which, I hope, would do a greater good. And even if I do make the choice, it may not even be what I get in the end.

Things are getting quite complicated, and I'm afraid I shall be kept worried for the weeks to come. Things are getting quite heated up, and I'm afraid I shall be kept in a very pissed mood for a long time to come. Things are getting quite busy, and I'm afraid I might be too tired to keep up. Things are getting quite interesting, but I'm afraid I shall be too busy wrapped up in my silly little sad pathetic life to really care and explore.

Yes, I will offer my kind assistance, yes, I will offer my insults. But commitment, commitment, the absolute Deathtrap.


The Pond

The lotus blooms in beauty
in spite of the murky water in which it grows.
"Be like the lotus,"
mothers tell their children.
"Bloom in spite of the darkness,
and the world will regard you better for it."

The murky water in which it grows,
helps the lotus bloom in beauty in spite of itself.
Mothers, won't you tell your children:
"Be like the pond. Even in your darkness,
find the strength to help others bloom
and the world will be better regarded for it."

Lotuses always remind me of Crescent. A Crescent girl auditioned for StAJe today, and she proudly stated "ladies and leaders of tomorrow". Indeed. I wanted to applaud her, if I could. But thank you.


Yes, my head is very heavy.